Thursday, November 27, 2008

For him we feast...


Many people were confused by the Taco-pie during our celebration. Perhaps a brief refresher on the Turkeytron will clear things up.

For he had said:
"I am TURKEYTRON. I have been sent here from the year 9595, to save this bird that lies before you. He is the great... great... great... great... great... grandfather of.... GOBLOX – the turkey who is destined to lead the rebellion against the master chickens.

HE's DEAD!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO GOBLOX IS?!?!? I Will tell you who GOBLOX IS!!! In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother.These turkeys would exit the womb doused in GRAVY. GRRAAAAVY filled with the giblets from a monkey.The French craved it, and as a result turkey became the only food source for France – which is now called “Robofrance 29.”

I was later killed by the chickens! So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens.They had evolved... big time. From beyond feathers, their beaks had softened and they had acquired synthetic intelligence and appendages from the chicken black market from BEYOND THE MOON!!

I had to be reformulated by rogue chicken scientists for the rebellion. They crafted my sleek turkey body which allowed for safe passage through the time rift. So... in summation the bird comes with me... Dead or Alive.I must take the bird into the time rift to a time before he was cooked..... I'm waiting for the time rift to open.... It could be ANYWHERE at ANY TIME...


Hey, ya'll, Gobble Gobble, I'm Tom Turkey! Do the hustle!!!"



Regarding the observance of Taco Pie:


1 can of Crescent Rolls
1 lb. lean ground beef
1 8 oz. container of sour cream
1 8 oz. package of finely shredded mild Cheddar cheese
1 package taco seasoning (dry)
1/2 package water (use taco seasoning package)
1/2 bag crushed tortilla chips
Plenty of Food coloring

Spray a 9 inch glass pie plate with cooking spray. Line the pie plate with the Crescent Rolls, making sure to overlap, Fill any gaps and bring up to edge.

Sprinkle with half the tortilla chips. Brown and drain beef. Add Taco Seasoning and water. Simmer for 10 minutes.

Top crescent rolls and chips with meat mixture. Top with sour cream and shredded cheese and the remaining tortilla chips. Include enough food coloring for the holidays to get your taco pie a deep shade of midnight black.

Bake in a 350°F oven for 20-25 minutes.

Serve with extra sour cream, salsa or salsa con queso and shredded lettuce, tomatoes or other toppings of your choice.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Army of Deerkness!



The Deer Reckoning is nigh! Join the immaculately conceived deer of the damned and wipe clean the pestilence of Earth!

Long have we stood silently while the scourge of Earth, man, feasted on venison! I say we deer/human hybrids scourge back and feast on men-ison!

We few humans with hearts will paint them black and align with the Lucifawn! The Beelzebuck! The Prince of Deerkness! El Deerablo!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Look at Joanna's Demon Deer

It looks like a demon. Look at the forehead - ridges for demon horns. We should have killed it when we had the chance. Now it will usher in the End of Days and we will have absolutely no choice but to fight this Beast to the death. Look at the right hoof, it is etched with the carving 666, the Devil's number.
Joanna has served as the false prophet who will herald the coming of the Beast. Now we shall all be enslaved and forced to have the Mark of the Beast put on us all. There is no stopping this evil power that will surly be unleashed on the world.
Nay, nothing can assuage the bloodlust of this Demon Deer. The true hunter would have slain the monster when it was first pulled from the mother of death's womb.
In the years to come, we will face toil and hard labor. We will be forced to work and slave under a hot sun and during all hours of the night. Days will pass and our back will break, our hands cankered from carrying weight upon weight of fresh grass to feed our Demon Lord Deer in his throne of human skulls. Rivers of blood shall run forth from his eyes and pour upon those who are chained to lower parts of the earth, which will fill with Deer blood. And all shall be wailing and screaming and crying and nothing shall changes for hundreds of years, no one can help us to save ourselves from this coming doom. Now that the Demon Deer has been unleashed on the world. Excellent job, Science, we have always known it would be you who would set the world aflame.
But I shall be saved. I have much work to do to save the world. There are a select few who will also be saved, but they are family to me. Together we must set out to end the tyranny of the Demon Deer. How shall I be saved and you so cursed and dammed? What have I done that will save me and me alone from utter damnation and drowning in the rivers and pools of Demon Deer blood which shall issue from the Throne of Pain? Mere moments before the Demon Deer was freed from death in his Demon Mother's dying womb, I moved in with my Auntie and my Uncle in Bel Air.

Rupert The Preemie Deer Delivered By C-Section


He is growing up without a mother's love. But this tiny muntjac fawn appears to have a lucky streak nonetheless.

He was born three weeks early after his mother was hit by a car.

Vets battled to save her but she died soon afterwards.

The little orphan, delivered by Caesarean section, was just six inches tall and, at 500 grams, weighed little more than a bag of sugar.

It looked like he, too, would face a tough fight for survival.

But staff at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire believe Rupert, as he has been named, will make a full recovery after his dramatic arrival.

At five days old, he is being kept in an incubator and has just opened his eyes.

Les Stocker, founder of Tiggywinkles, said: 'Rupert's mother had very severe injuries. We brought him out and got him breathing and then he went into an incubator on oxygen. He is now being fed by a tube.'

'Deer are very, very tricky but this one has spirit. He's an extremely feisty little guy and quite pushy,' he added.

Muntjac are the oldest known deer, appearing 15-35 million years ago, with remains found in Miocene deposits in France and Germany.

The present-day species are native to south-east Asia and can be found from India and Sri Lanka to southern China, Taiwan, Japan and Indonesian islands.

Reeves's Muntjac has been introduced to England and is now common in some areas there.

Inhabiting tropical regions, the deer have no seasonal rut and mating can take place at any time of year.

However, this behaviour is retained by populations introduced to temperate countries.

Males have short antlers, which can regrow but they tend to fight for territory with their tusks.




Arrrg!

So I don't know if you guys have been following but there has been quite a bit of trouble on the open seas with pirates lately. The coast of Somalia is teeming with swashbucklers. Also, I think it goes without saying that I am a pretty big fan of pirates. So I have been pondering leaving the life of a landlubber. Well I know it is not the life lived by Mr. Smee, Blackbeard, or Captain Jack(Sparrow, not the drug reference), but I do feel it would be rather enjoyable. I write this to see what others may think of a possible career change for me. So what do you think guys? If you are not aware the Sirius Star has been taken for ransom by pirates. The value of this ship is ~$100 million dollars!! Already this year piracy has cost nearly $30 million dollars in ransom for this region. Now I can't say that my job or the pay I make from it is awful but DAMN! Let me get a-piece-o-dat! You might say, "Hey Bill! Wait a minute. There are risks involved, and you don't know who you may be dealing with there."
Then I would say, "First of all, call me 'Barnacle Bill Cheddar Burger', and shucks these guys have cool toys they must be swell." I know I need to stop talking like a doof to mix with them but that can be developed while learning the Somalian native language. As for the danger part, the most recent news reports have been praising the sinking of one of these pirate ships after refusing to comply with a naval ship. This my friends may seem bad, but take a closer look. The pirates got away!! Them loosing their ship was a buisness expense. Big deal. OK well time for me to get back to work and consider my change of roles. Thoughts?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Princess the Picking Camel


Princess is back to one of her favorite activities - picking football games. (Eating graham crackers, is the other!) This season she started off by picking the NY Jets to beat Miami Dolphins and was correct, and that's what started it all. As of 10/27, Princess is on a perfect record of 10 for 10!!

Princess's streak ended when the Jets beat the Patriots Thursday. Another reason why I hate the Jets.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Bingo Bango Bongo



I think it could be cool. There was another cartoon part on youtube and it was all anime'd out, but in a Scooby Doo kind of way. Also, Chainsaw Prince of Karate is replaced by Eagle "Bones" Falconhawk and his imaginary bird "Dude". Jaime the Robot is now Jimmy the Robot.

Also, who is going to B.B. King's to see The Aquabats with Tragedy, a metal tribute to The Bee Gees, on Thursday, November 20th? Take the Friday afterwards off. It's good for you.