Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
BLAIRSTOWN, NJ - President Chepauskas made a groundbreaking speech on Saturday night, one that is likely to define his legacy. Unfortunately, it may be better remembered by an unscripted incident when a disgruntled woman hurled her shoes at the revered Command in Chief. Chepauskas had just finished a near perfect delivery of his oratory on hipsters, the subject that has been at the forefront of our nations minds. The speach layed out in specific terms what characteristics can be used to describe a hipster, puncuated by guitar strumming and swigs of Smithwicks, the President's favorite brew. The drama unfolded when a member of the crowd, suspected to be a hipster, ran to the front of the audience and screamed, "I am not a f___ing hipster, you dog!" The assailent then removed her sneaker and forcefully threw it at the President's face. Chepauskas was able to narrowly avoid the projectile. The assailent then threw her other shoe, shouting, "This is for all the good names you have tarnished!" Chepauskas was struck squarely in the face by the size 10 Converse. The crowd sat stunned in horror as the assailent then left the room, visibly pissed off and whining loudly. Chepauskas was uninjured by the blow, and was later deemed to be in good condition by medical officials.
Posted by DervsNotDead at 9:05 PM